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Forget what you have heard about a successful personal brand being based on authenticity, consistency and respect for your values, clients and followers. Right now ‘alternative facts’ reign supreme which is why we are sharing 10 to help you win the favor (or at least attention) of all you meet and engage.

Consistency is overrated. Don’t waste time by getting to know your true core values. Speak out of both sides of your mouth and contradict yourself at any given opportunity. You want to confuse people, so that they find it impossible to know what you stand for and how to recommend you.

Dress like you haven’t shopped in a decade. Always ensure that your wardrobe is dated, appropriate for the job you had 10 years ago, fits badly and detracts away from your true personality.

Repeat yourself constantly. Make sure that when you address an audience that you use repeat yourself over and over again, diluting the impact of the message. Also use as many cliches as possible to engage your listeners.

Bad form is the name of the game. There’s no power in being polite. Interrupt and insult people, show your team and followers that you are above all of that nicey-nicey stuff and gain respect by being as bold, brash and offensive as possible.

It’s always about you. Making it all about you and you alone is what personal branding is all about, right? Talk about yourself as though you are exceptional and take credit for every “good” idea you have.

Blame shift. When the public reacts negatively to your brand, blame your team, the competition, your spouse…anyone but yourself. If all else fails, claim the system is rigged against you.

Use grandiose filler words as often as you can. Get support for bad ideas by lacing sentences with words like “terrific”, “amazing” and “great.”

Work to destroy anything (or anyone) that challenges you. Launch an attack on every person or organization who dares to question you. The more offensive the language, the better. If possible, do this in rapid fire tweets.

Lie, deny…repeat. It doesn’t matter if they heard you say it or have you saying or doing something on camera. Tell the public it didn’t happen enough and they will believe it.

Finally, be as inauthentic as possible. It’s not about who you are, but who you want people to think you are in any given moment. Be guided by the reaction, be it positive or negative, and never forget that the fear is a very powerful drug.

*We will now return to the real world.